It's Really Early in the Morning

Hi, everyone. It is about 4:30 a.m. I am awake. My allergies have kicked in, as they so often do in August. I am sneezing like crazy and cannot breathe. I thought I would come down to the computer and put up some thoughts.

My allergies have plagued me since I was very young. I remember going out and sleeping on the garage roof at my parents' house when I was a boy. I thought that going outside would help. Now, I do not have a garage roof.

Allergies have been particularly tough on me in the month of August, so I always dread this month. Historically, most of my worst work is completed in the month of August, such as relationship breakups, lost jobs, etc. Right after Emma, our daughter, was born, I had a particularly tough time in August, as I was having a great deal of difficulty getting any sleep. This made me a little nuts and I began to have what they call "morbid thoughts," a sign of depression. I was convinced that my marriage was breaking up, that everyone was laughing at me all the time and that generally, life would be better unlived.

I remember watching an NYPD rerun late night on TV during that time. It was the episode in which Jimmy Smits lay dying on his bed in the hospital, with his wife by his side, struggling to draw breath. My thought at the time was, "He is so lucky, all he has to do is try to breathe!"

Obviously, this was not clear-headed thinking. Dr. Robert Lawrence in Fort Collins helped me to identify what my problem was, not enough quality sleep. He prescribed some medications that truly helped me get back my sleep and myself. Unfortunately, it is very expensive. Because of the good Doctor's diagnosis, I no longer am health insurable, so I can no longer take the medicine. I compensate with some over-the-counter medications, but it is not as useful. Witness today.

I am going to start my day, a little earlier than I thought. Wish me luck!